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Huggable and Buggable

huggable & buggable

One minute we find ourselves quite huggable and delight in the peace of it all. Then, another moment we realize we are buggable to others. We are all huggable and buggable — wherever there is light, there are bugs!! How can we shine the best during chornic illness?? Oh stars, I don’t know!!!

If I knew how to shine at all times during chronic illness, I would tell you!! And I would be in perfect peace and health and a bazillionaire.

What I do know is how to try and accept that trying is enough.

Good people will have clashes. Add chronic illness into the mix and we most likely will experience more clashes.

Chronic illness brings with it many conflicts, of all sorts. Since we lose the energy to fight them all, it can be a good time to practice letting go of as many of them as possible. Not all conflicts need to be battles.

The needless battles keep us in a sympathetic state instead of a parasympathetic state, keeping us ill.

Accepting Truth

We are all buggable whether we see it in ourselves or not.

Our light can sting or shine.

There are two sides to every conflict. Usually both sides have legitimate justifications, from respective perspective!!

Not all conflicts are wrong. Yet, as much as possible, be at peace with all.

When the goal is restoration of relationship it is worth the tremendous time, effort and patience it takes, on both sides.

Finding Gentleness

People are funny, we waiver back and forth from huggability to buggability and back again.

Sometimes the best we can do while we are ill and hurting and overwhelmed is to find gentleness for ourselves and others.

“Let’s stop the fight” may be the best self-talk you can have when dealing with the buggable in ourselves and others.

Share a Hug

When we are huggable, share!!

Give yourself a hug first, love on yourself, say kind things about yourself in your self-talk.

Your huggability will be contagious. And if not, let it go.

Share a hug when you can during your own illness.

I know, chances are YOU are not receiving enough hugs yourself.

When my children were young I learned that they needed something like 17 hugs a day. I am not convinced we ever outgrow that need. When are children are ill, we tend to give them more hugs. So, as adults, can we accept that we more hugs when we are ill too?????

Accepting Bugs

Wherever there is light there are bugs

~ not sure

I love that saying. Makes me smile and it is that smile that I can share with others even when I feel like I have no energy left to fight another relationship battle for the day.

The most well-intentioned words may not be received as such, but a smile can turn a sting into a shining moment.

I can also accept that others are just as buggable as I am and give them a break as well.

Firefly Memories

One of my all-time favorite childhood memories was a firefly jar.

My grandmother lived on a working farm when I was very young. Although I have very few memories of my childhood, I actually remember many details about that farm. My favorite ones are about the fireflies and cousins.

There were 10 of us cousins on that side of the family and this one summer we got into some shenanigans.

We were all very young. Maybe I was 5???? Not really sure. What I remember was the farmhouse yard, the big hill in front and all the fireflies in the summertime.

The cousins who lived in the area had practice at having fun and they knew about catching fireflies in jars. Off we went on the grand adventure.

Then came the shenanigans. No clue who came up with the idea but we collectively agreed to catch as many of the fireflies we could in a jar, I think someone even punched holes in the lid. Then we snuck them in the farmhouse with the adults. I can still hear the snickers and feel anticipation.

We made our way to one of the bedrooms. Never understood why we chose the bedroom closest to the adults. Surely we would get caught! All 10 of us little kids piled in. Turned off the lights and let them go. How fun is that!!!!

I still remember the fairytale sight of letting them go in that dark bedroom. The roar of 10 young children laughing got the attention of the adults and they did not see the humor in it.

Decades later, it still makes me laugh. What 10 little kids can see as completely huggable can be quite buggable to others and that is okay.

I remember a time when my 5-year-old son painted our front porch bright green to “help” and be “creative” like his mom had just done in painting his bedroom and I didn’t think it was so funny at first either. Within the hour I got a grip and found the huggability in it all.

Today I live in an area that also has fireflies which bring back that one treasured early childhood memory. It reminds me that not everything I say and do is huggable to others but as I have learned to accept myself more, just the way I am, it is all okay!!!

Chronic illness brings with it both huggable and buggable moments. For the most part, everyone is doing the best they can. Parents usually do the best they can and children do the best they can and people, in general, are all doing the best we can.

Fireflies remind me to take a deep breath, it is all okay, to do and be the best to our ability — and that is enough!!!

As I learn the skill of accepting that I am enough, I calm down my nervous system. My thoughts don’t get stuck. There is a flow, a flying like fireflies in the night. All is okay, all is well enough.

3 thoughts on “Huggable and Buggable

  1. 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩😆🤩🤩😆🤩

    1. you just made me smile, thanks!!

    2. Oh stars you are right!!!!

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