I could use some more healthy smiles in my life, how about you? Not all smiles are the same. Have you ever received a “dominance” smile? It is derisive and signals feelings from the giver as being superior. Who wants to receive that kind of smile? I know I don’t. It’s Christmas time, time to be giving not domineering. Graciously give healthy kinds of smiles.
I noticed myself smiling very oddly last week so I did a bit of poking around on the Internet. Sure enough, there is a study of 3 different kinds of smiles and one of them does not make us feel so hot.
This was fun because I knew I had received this “dominance” smile that made me feel like heck, but I also knew I turned right around and gave it back. I actually saw it happen, that was fun. I am seeing things in life I never have before. My health is better, super-duper better, and my eyes are open wide with wonderment.
Okay, there are 3 kinds of smiles that were studied…
- REWARD smiles = shows happiness & reinforce behavior
- AFFILIATION smiles = strengthen social bonds between people
- DOMINANCE smiles = derisive, signal feelings of superior social status
What does derisive mean (I had to look it up)? Derisive means expressing contempt or ridicule. Ohhhh yeah, THAT was the smile that caught my attention last week. It felt like contempt and ridicule all rolled up into dominance, hidden behind a smirky smile. Interesting!!!
But then the snot came out in me and I turned right around and gave the same smile right back. Okay, totally childish, I get it. The fun part was seeing what a stressor does to one’s smile, it alters it!!
No one likes to be smothered in a domineering smile, knowing that its sole purpose is to stick up one’s nose a bit higher. Give it a try. Smile in different ways and see which one makes the tip of your nose go a bit higher.
I need to not care so much what others do to me, but care more about what I do to others. It is Christmas. It is a time to give from the heart. It is time to truly care what kind of smile I am giving to others. I deeply care about others health and wellbeing. I am the one who needs to give healthy smiles.
To help fill someone else’s cup, I need to give reward and affiliation smiles. I don’t want to take away from another’s cup, I want to fill it with abundance so they will turn around and have more to give others. I need to set my stressors aside so that I am giving a healthy smile.
It has been a silly subject to research but well worth it. Now I clearly know my different healthy smiles to give this Christmas.
A smile speaks a thousand words…