Since when are we supposed to lie to the best of our ability, even if it is meant to get peace? There really are some “lies” that are not even really “white lies.” They are just a means to an end, one of guilt-free peace. Let’s explore fake lies.
What is an acceptable lie when we are so ill, so worn out, that we simply want peace, even at the expense of lying?
My declaration is that it is acceptable when it does not hurt anyone and when there are no moral implications. Basically, fake lying.
Sometimes when we do fake lying we can create more peace and joy in our lives while we are on a health journey.
Changing Holiday Dates
Going to use my Thanksgiving as a wild example of how to create a fake lie with great results.
I was disappointed in my Thanksgiving this year so I chose to lie, to myself.
When I woke up yesterday the thought came to mind that I could simply lie (to myself) about what day it was. Yesterday was a week after Thanksgiving but it worked for me, so the lie was a great idea. I was simply tricking myself to create joy within myself.
My fake Thanksgiving dinner was delicious, peaceful and filled with joy. I was even thankful for the situation and my own company.
Fake Lies in Awkward Conversations
The more years that click by as we are chronically ill, the more we tend to fake lie about how we are doing to others. It is easier to say, “I am fine” instead of the drama and the details of all that we go through.
If they sincerely want to know, not just being polite by asking, they will ask again or reframe the question and dig a bit deeper.
When there are sincere people, it is part of our healing process to be able to talk about the situation. Those people are always welcome in my world! The same as when I ask about how others are doing. I sincerely love those conversations because both parties are truly participating.
And of course, this is honestly a double standard. When no one asks anything about anything, that can hurt my feelings. That is where I have to get better about speaking up yet keeping it short.
There are no easy answers to any of this. Maybe my point is, we can simply just do the best we can at any given moment. Sometimes we need to work on fake lies to side-step awkward conversations. Other times I need to be a big girl and learn how to speak up better.
I Lied To You In The Video
I even heard a “lie” when I was speaking in the video. I said that I have this wonderful positive attitude. Well, that is not the full truth. I certainly try but success is not always there. There are some mornings that there is no positive attitude to be found.
Sometimes we say things that are not fully true. They are how we desire things to be 100% of the time, but that is not always reality.
Give Others a Break
You see how goofy this can get. We all say things that have so many hidden meanings that “truth” gets a bit twisted. When we catch others doing this, remember that we too do it all the time.
We are all so busy thinking AND talking at the same time that our words do not always match reality. I find myself saying contradictory things all the time. It wears me out to try to correct every word that gets said. It all gets even goofier while we are chronically ill.
Give yourself and others a break. None of us speak 100% correctly. When we make PEACE the goal, we can let each other fumble our words.
Remember while watching the video, there are several contradictions to my words that make me a liar (not on purpose of course). You know what I am trying to say… and doing a poor job at.
Maribeth Baxter, MBNC (Certified Mind-Body Nourishment Coach)
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