Have you ever tried to suppress a pity party? Sometimes we can do that successfully, other times it stays with us or comes back to haunt us later. For the most part pity parties are a waste of time and energy. There are always exceptions and sometimes we just need a good pity party. As a Pity Party Person, I have come up with a Pity Party Plan. Personally I do not want to get stuck in a pity party. Not only is it not attractive but it stunts our growth. I love my Pity Party Plan.
My Pity Party Plan starts with identifying what is a legitimate reason to have a pity party. Life presents plenty of difficulties that are legitimate for pity party reasons. We all come from different places and what is a legitimate reason for me might not be for you. I do suggest putting some thought into the legitimacy of the pity party before moving on. Put on your big girl panties (or big boy boxers) and let as many things go as possible. Then when it feels legitimate, have an official pity party.
The next step is the key. Set a timer. Yes, I really did say set a timer. Only you can determine what the appropriate amount of time for a pity party is. I started big and worked my way down. I was so used to my pity parties that I felt like I needed a sufficient amount of time to wallow. As I have used this strategy numerous times my allotted time has greatly reduced.
There is more to my Pity Party Plan. Go for it! When you have determined a legitimate pity party and you have set a timer, go for it. I mean hit those pillows, cry, bawl, yell, say what is really on your mind without political correctness. Do what it takes to get those destructive thoughts out of your head. Without hurting anyone else, do what it takes to have a full-blown pity party. Get it out of you, whatever it takes, as long as you are not hurting anyone else or yourself. Life can be very troublesome at times and the emotions that come with it are legitimate. Letting them linger inside of us and use up our power and our identity is only destructive. Does not mean that a pity party relieves us of all of our life challenges, it just means that it provides a path to move through the challenges instead of getting stuck in them.
Pity Party Plan:
- Choose pity parties sparingly and wisely.
- Set a timer.
- Go for it, without hurting yourself or anyone else.
- When that timer goes off, STOP.
- Dry your tears, take several deep breaths and know that there is always hope.
This works for appropriate pity party times. There are always more complicated issues that need more complicated solutions so I am not saying this works for every problem in life. I am saying we can use our pity parties for movement to a better place. I can now successfully say that my pity parties are shorter in time and not as frequent. It took a while, it took practice. It took patience with myself and forgiving myself when I would sneak in a non-legitimate pity party. And it is all okay. Movement, growth, enlightenment is the goal, not perfection.
How are you moving through your pity parties?
Maribeth Baxter, MBEC
Donations accepted to serve others on their chronic illness journey. Maribeth Baxter, MBEC provides voluntary certified health coaching services to the financially limited during their time of crisis.